There you have it: it’s 99 % exact, you hold it in your hand, it takes 3 minutes and you have to take a look at the result. Two lines – pregnant; one line – not pregnant. For some people the two lines are the dream of their lives, they have waited for the positive result for so long, they are overjoyed, it’s what will give their existence meaning, what will make them happy forever and so on, and so on. My case?
I am alone in a bathroom at the hotel where I am staying for the week because of a work – related training in the capital, I am looking at my reflection in the mirror, holding the test in one hand and my cell phone with the time on it in the other, and wondering whether to look at the result or not. I keep thinking this can’t be true, there must be another explanation. People try to have kids for years with no success, this can’t be happening to me. I am just overreacting as usual. It will be fine. I look at the result. Guess what – two lines.
So, my new job: being pregnant.
They say because of the hormones you can react in a strange way, even if you are expecting it and you are hoping for it. Your emotions take over and may surprise you. You start laughing, you start crying, you start screaming, you throw the test on the floor, you have a panic attack, you jump around the room, you call your loved ones. Many different reactions… I sat on the floor and started looking at the empty room. My mind – blank, completely blank for a few minutes. Later, when I came back to real life, I called the father and started crying, asking him what we’re going to do.
In the evening I went out for dinner with a work colleague, had a glass of white wine and smoked my supposedly last cigarette.
Wish me luck – I am going to be a Mom!
Photo by Valeria Boltneva, Pexels