Every time I look at my son, I am convinced that he is the most amazing kid. Then I am convinced that I am doing a good job, a great job even, when it comes to raising him. Then he falls asleep, naturally. And I am starting to doubt myself and my ways of being a mother. Then I start writing an article about it.
What‘s bothering me? Honestly, I don‘t know. But once a day, or maybe more, I am asking myself if I am a good Mom. And the answer most of the times is „No“. Do you know why? I think it is impossible to be a good Mom. It‘s just that there are so many things to do, so many rules! Who can do all of that while not breaking any of the rules and end up being a great Mom? Apparently, not me.
My partner and my mother always say to me that I am doing great, of course. Then why do I have the feeling I am not? Let me give you an example. Let‘s say my son is crying. What would you do? Would you pick him up? Or would you leave him be? I want to pick him up and hold him until he calms down and that‘s what I do. But his father says I am spoiling him and I have to let him cry, leave him be. I am reading baby books and psychologists say that you can‘t spoil a baby before the age of 2-3 years. But my mother says „If you hold him all the time, he will get used to it, he will look for you and won‘t stop crying till you pick him up.“ So, am I a bad Mom if I hold him? Am I a bad Mom if I let him cry?
There‘s such a difference between the way I grew up and the way we are supposed to take care of our kids now. If you keep your baby healthy, in a good physical condition and it‘s growing up month by month, is it enough? Does this make you a good mother? Probably not. Because health is not enough. You need to take care of the baby‘s emotional development as well. Playing Mozart helps for brain development. Tranquility and calm atmosphere are a must for raising a child. The moher has the lead role in looking after the baby, she must be positive and smiling all the time because babies can sense when something is wrong. Talking to the baby should happen at all times. The baby should be entertained. The baby shouldn‘t be left alone for a long time, it can sense when there is no one in the room and it will feel abandoned.
There are so many rules. I cannot keep up. And I cannot keep all of them.
It‘s impossible to be a good Mom…